Fr. Todd 1/11/26

Dear St. Mary on the Lake and Sacred Heart,

            As we enter into this new year one of the things I am excited for is the number weddings we have coming up.  We have a nice number of young couples inquiring about getting married and actively preparing for this great sacrament.  There is a tremendous cultural pressure against getting married at all, and if they are looking to get married, then pressure against getting married in the Church.  I am the more edified then by the couples bucking those societal pressures and seeking to get married and prepare well for that marriage with Christ at the center.  It takes some courage to treat marriage as seriously its dignity demands.  I salute this great courage.  I turn to you asking for your prayers for them! 

            What are the expectations the Church has for marriage?  For Catholics these base expectations are captured by what is called Canonical Form.  (Canonical coming from Canon Law, the laws of the Church that provide guidance in all areas, including marriage).  Canonical form requires for validity that every Catholic marry in the presence of a priest or deacon and two witnesses, using the Catholic form of marriage. It is possible for the Bishop to dispense from the requirement of canonical form for the Catholic party when they are marrying a non-Catholic.  

            Some are unaware of the necessity to get married in the Church so this may be news- if that is so I am sorry you didn’t know before!  Others were aware and for one reason or another ignored it.  Regardless, every year I also celebrate several Convalidations where these couples get married in the Church- exchanging their vows in a public manner in the Church before some witnesses.  If you are in this position, please let me know.   I would love to walk with you through it.  These convalidations are always very beautiful. 

            Besides getting married in the Church what else does marriage prep entail?  It means an initial meeting with me to fill out some paperwork ensuring the freedom to get married.  Then we have an online course that covers a wide swath of realities that make up married life.  We also have a mentor couple program called Witness to Love that pairs engaged couples with an older married couple for a number of meetings.  Throughout it I am available for checking in as needed and I join you and the mentor couple for one joint meeting.  If you are invited to be a mentor couple please sincerely consider saying Yes as you are great help for them.  We have all the materials needed that will guide your meetings.  If you go on our Parish websites, we have instructions that spell out the whole process.

            The marriage relationship is the single most important relationship these couples will enter into.  I am so grateful to be able to walk with them and help them invest in themselves.  Amidst the marriage prep process so often the many details of a wedding take the front stage.  Flowers, venues, pictures, and food are all fine things but they are absolutely nothing in importance when compared to the couple’s relationship.  Please be praying for these couples and for more to hear and respond to the call to Married life!

God Bless,  Fr. Todd